essence of life is love.
~ The Supreme Master Ching Hai ~
I have to tell you: True love begins with yourself. That’s the only truth I can tell you. And don’t say you always have to try to please other people. If you please others with an ulcer in your stomach, is that good? Or if you swallow the anger within you, is that good? You’re the Buddha as well! Why do you have to pay such a price when it’s not necessary? If it’s truly, truly necessary and the other person will die without your doing it, then perhaps you can consider whether he’s more important than you are. But you don’t need to be running around, taking care of people’s karma! You have enough of your own.
So, whether it’s a marriage, an arrangement, a relationship or a business, make sure you get the best out of it. That’s really the way to serve humankind. Because if you aren’t happy in your marriage and you always let your partner get the better of you, one day you’ll break down or explode, and you’ll end up in divorce anyway. Even at that time, it’s too late, but better late than never. If it really becomes too unbearable and un-reconcilable, just go. Take care of yourself first. Then you can think about whether you should continue or you should start a new life.
Anything is changeable; anything can possibly be rearranged. That’s how we learn. If you make a mistake, it’s all right; admit it and change it. Don’t continue with that mistake and sacrifice for this and that and the other. For example, suppose your marriage isn’t happy and your partner always takes advantage of you, and yet you’re the only one who’s always feeling bitter and abused or beaten up — if you continue like that, what for? Maybe you think you might get a worse partner later, but you never know. You can try it, and if it’s worse, you can say, “Oh, it’s worse.” And then you’ll know.
In any situation, you must try to take care of yourself so that you get the best. But without taking advantage of other people or trying to walk over people’s dead bodies in order to arrive at your desired destination. It’s just that you have to be true to yourself in any circumstances. And the other people must also be true to themselves. If they’re not, if they try to pretend or if they act hypocritically, that’s their problem. At least you’ll know where you stand: “This person can’t mix with me so I’d better find another arrangement or wait until he or she changes or becomes true to himself. Then we might talk again.”
It’s the same with a partner, a business or anything. You always have to be true to yourself because we’re practicing the Truth. If you aren’t true to yourself right now, then when will you be? Will you be true to yourself when you go to Heaven? There, we don’t need to do anything anymore. We’re finished with our job then, and there’s nothing else to do. So, whatever you want to do, just do it if you have the correct intention. You just have to be true to yourself and your feelings.
“Always be True to Yourself”
There was an Indian master. Once when he was crossing a river on a boat, he saw a scorpion — this is Indian folklore. The scorpion was drowning in the river. He extended his hand and tried to take the scorpion into the boat for safety. The scorpion stung him and he dropped it, crying: “Ah! Ah, ah!” (Laughter) After a while, the master put his hand back into the water and tried to rescue the poor drowning scorpion. But the scorpion stung him once more and he cried, “Ah! Ah!” After a while, he extended his hand again into the water and tried to pick the scorpion up onto the boat for safety. Before he reached the scorpion, his disciple stopped him, “Don’t do that, master.”
The master said, “Why, I want to rescue it.”
The disciple said, “It will sting you again, won’t it?” The master said, “Yes, it will.” The disciple said, “So why are you rescuing it? You will only suffer again.” The master said, “The habit of the scorpion is to sting anything that touches it. It cannot change that. And my habit is to help anyone who comes in contact with me. I also cannot change that.” (Applause)
So make a habit of always extending your loving kindness, doesn’t matter how people treat you. You may be firm sometimes. Some people stubbornly disturb you sometimes with their misunderstanding, even though you have tried your best to explain. Nevertheless, never forget your loving kindness inside. And whatever way you can, and whenever possible, always extend this loving kindness from inside, because that is you, that’s the real you, the unlimited love which is Godly.
“Let The Love Free”
Q: What is universal law?
M: Universal law has two classes: One is the law of absolute love and grace, while the other is the law of action and retribution. When we’re in the higher dimensions of the Kingdom, then we have only love and grace; that’s the only law. But when we’re in the lower scales of the universe such as this physical dimension, we have to abide by the law of cause and effect. That’s what is meant by As you sow, so shall you reap in the Bible.
So, most people who are not in contact with God have to suffer the law of cause and retribution. But for those who can ascend to a higher dimension, they enjoy only grace and love. God never judges us.
“The Highest Realms Are Ruled with Love and Grace”
Love knows no burden; love knows only sacrifice.
News 105, Aphorisms