Teachings Sex  

Positive and Negative Power
Yin and Yang



Q: This question is picking up on something You mentioned earlier about sexual energy causing problems. Could You explain how that happens and what we should do to deal with it?

M: How it happens? Do I have to explain that? (Laughter) I think you should buy a book like the “Kama Sutra” or something like that. It explains better than I ever could. (Laughter)

There are many kinds of energy, different levels, which we possess. Sexual energy most resembles the ecstasy that we have during samadhi. Some people enter samadhi and experience the ecstasy, so they are able to control the sexual energy. Most people, when they have not reached that level and they experience the sexual energy, it feels so good that it makes them off balance. Their body cells react kind of differently. Just like after initiation or when you come out of samadhi, your body feels sometimes weird, shaking, or something. That’s the way it is. That is why when people are in love, it is just like walking on the clouds, and they are cuckoo sometimes. Because of the sudden change in chemistry with the chemical reaction and the side effects of it, it puts the mind off balance. They become either overly happy or agitated for no reason, and they cannot reason with themselves or with the partner anymore. That is why people in the old time advised you not to do anything until your marriage. Not only because of the old-fashioned concept to keep the virginity and all that, but just to let you both have time for the body chemistry to get used to each other so when you finally experience that ultimate feeling at the pleasure center, you don’t offset your balance. You can continue to be friends and get on with each other, much as before you had sex.

If you have sex too soon, your mind hasn’t got the time to assimilate and to know each other; and the chemistry of the body, of the cells, is not trained to be with another person with a different chemistry and a different program, DNA and all that. So when you contact too soon, intimately, the sexual energy will kind of explode and make you both off balance. That is why people say if you have sex too soon, your marriage will not be very good. It is not because the sex is a sin or anything, it’s just that your body is not used to it; it’s just that your mind is not used to it; your spiritual body has not been programmed so soon to be so intimate. When two persons’ powerful energy meets together, it is like a bomb. So, nothing is bad; it is just the way you handle it.

For most people, when you don’t have enlightenment to go with it as well, and the whole society tells you that sex is sinful on top of it, psychologically, physically, mentally, and emotionally, you feel guilty. That is bad for your relationship. That is how relationships go wrong. People condemn sex too much in the society, and on the other hand, they don’t explain and they don’t program people into accepting sex as a part of life or part of the relationship. Then from the psychological effect alone from the society, from the moral standards from your background, you feel already off balance and guilty and that’s why you struggle within yourself. You can’t handle it. Also, the sexual energy is very strong; it’s almost like samadhi. For mortal people, it is just too much for them.

Q: So how should we handle it then if it seems like it’s too much for us?

M: You have to understand the nature of sexual energy. But to understand is one thing and to accept it is another thing because we have been brainwashed for thousands of years that sex is bad. I can’t even change that. If I go out and preach to everyone that sex is good, sex is okay, they would kill me. (Laughter) So all I can do is tell you to take it easy, reduce it; slow it down if you can, if you want to and if that makes you feel good. If you can’t handle it, then the only thing is to reduce it or cut it off until you’re strong enough and can decide what to do. And if you want to experience the fire, then you have to take the consequences. Even if I sit here and tell you sex is not sinful or it is okay, you still cannot accept it. Even if you trust me, your mind cannot accept it so quickly.

Q: Thank You, Master.

M: You’re welcome. You see, nothing is really bad. It’s just the way we are programmed. For example, I say to you, “Don’t gamble.” Many of you probably wonder, “Why? It’s harmless. You just play a few paper cards and bet one or two dollars. What harm can it be?” It is no harm, but it’s the side effect. Sometimes you lose, you become a bad loser, or the other person loses, he becomes a bad loser, and this produces a bad energy between each other. You lose a friend and hate each other, and things like that create bad energy, negative energy that you have to bear. You feel choked, you feel pressured. And if it comes to the worse case, you’ll be addicted if you win. If you lose, you’d want to regain it. If you win, you want to continue. It’s the human mind. It keeps training and training, and after a while, you get used to gambling and you want more. You go to bigger places and you might lose bigger time. Then you hurt yourself – you lose your job, you lose your family, you might sell your wife and kids, even. Some people do that. You see, it is the side effect that is bad. It is not truly gambling that is bad.

Suppose I sit here and do some gambling – would you think that I’m very bad or sinful? No. It might not be so because it means nothing to me. I could play the whole night, I could play my whole life, and it wouldn’t mean anything to me. It would not affect me at all. I would not sell you to make more money. But for most people, they can’t handle it – just like sex, they can’t handle it. They are too weak for these powerful addictions. Like cigarettes, you smoke one, tomorrow two, next day you have the whole package, and then you can’t quit. Or alcohol – how many people start with one glass. That’s all they start with, even half a glass, or even a sip. Cocaine, anything, is the same. They start with this much, and that’s how it grow into trouble. That is why I say stay away from them, even though I do not condemn anything. I know the soul chooses its own path, but whatever you have chosen, whatever you want to choose, you have to know the consequences and choose wisely. If you want to go Home quicker, if you decided that this time you want to go Home, stay away from these distractions. It costs you too much, mentally.

From “Sexual Energy”
News 101, Selected Questions and Answers
Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai
International three-day Retreat in Los Angles, California, USA
December 16, 1998
(originally in English)

Don’t be misled by a so-called similar teachings; don’t be tempted by an easy way, a cheap substitute for enlightenment, cheap happiness, and then mistake that for enlightenment. Don’t be mistaken, irresponsible in your behavior and have a lowly way of thinking toward liberation. Liberation means you’re liberated from all that, from all that which is bothering you, from all that which is no good, from all that which is not noble, from all that which is not beautiful, which is binding you, suffocating you, and making you feel guilty, making you feel that you’re not God-like. All desires make you feel like you’re burning, you’re passionate, have wanting and lust; lust is different than love, sex is different than offering yourself, celebrating the love between two people, even though the actions may look the same. Don’t be mistaken.

Similarly, don’t be mistakenly irresponsible, and engage in irrational behavior for liberation. Liberation is not enjoying yourself at the cost of others’ suffering. Liberation doesn’t mean that you lower yourself at the expense of your noblest being. Liberty has many costs. The people, who go around killing people, they say that is liberty, and also freedom. Freedom doesn’t mean you take away other people freedom. Joy doesn’t mean you have to cause other people suffering.

From “Clearly Distinguish What’s True and False”
News 92, Pearls Of Wisdom
Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai
Group Meditation in Pune, India
November 23, 1997
(originally in English)


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