The Load of Sins

News 152, Master Tells Stories
Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai
Japan • October 1, 1991
(originally in Chinese)

There once was a very proud woman who thought that she had never even committed one sin and was sure that she would be taken to Heaven upon her death in this world. One morning, she was sweeping the floor of her house and purely by accident her broom landed on a cockroach. It died instantly, and the woman became greatly upset and nearly went mad. “Who will assume this sin and take it away from me? How can I wash away this sin? So far I haven’t even committed one sin. What am I to do now?” She then ran here and there with the dead cockroach in her hand.

When she saw a woman selling fish, she said, “Oh, wretched woman, what will become of you when you die? Every day you kill so many creatures. I haven’t even committed one sin until this morning. Only today, I accidentally killed this cockroach. And even then, I’m vexed by this small sin, which I’m struggling to wash off. Imagine what will happen to you!”

“Is that so?” said the fishmonger. “Don’t be so anxious. I’ve killed a lot of fish, but you haven’t committed any sins. This cockroach sin need not worry you. Give it to me. I’ll put it in this basket full of fish. The addition of a little cockroach to this basket of dead fish isn’t going to make any difference. I’ll bear the sin for you! You’ll be free from the sin instantly. In my basket, there are so many fish that the addition of one cockroach won’t worry me. You needn’t worry, either!”

Of course, the so-called good woman was highly pleased and gave the dead cockroach to the fishmonger, who placed it in the basket of fish. The so-called good woman was thus relieved of her guilty feelings and that was great! On the other hand, the fishmonger wasn’t concerned at all about her kind action. She just left.

But would Heaven judge them that way? Later, it so happened that both women died on the same day. The angels came to take the fishmonger to Heaven while the Angel of Death came to take the so-called good woman to hell. The woman was puzzled, and flew into a rage. She asked the Angel of Death, “What? You must have made a mistake. I’m not the sinful fishmonger whom you should take to hell. I’m a good woman who has never committed any sins. Why would you want to take me to hell?”

“Good lady,” replied the Angel of Death, “we make no mistakes. You’re wanted in hell, where your name has already been registered. Come with me quickly. The fishmonger is going to Heaven.”

“But why?” the good woman asked. The Angel of Death then explained to her, “It was the duty of the fishmonger to sell and kill fish. She didn’t kill them out of malevolence, but as a duty. At the same time, she venerated and worshipped God every day, and did all her actions, whether good or bad, as offerings to the Lord, as Heirs instrument. So she merits Heaven.

You on the other hand thought, ‘I’ve killed a cockroach.’ You had the ‘I’ in your mind. Each time you did charity and good actions it was only to fatten your egoism and pride. You weren’t really a loving person! In your pride, you thought disparagingly of true and humble spiritual practitioners. You never thought of God at all. In everything you did, you thought you were the doer, be it good or bad things. You never gave a thought to God above; you didn’t respect Hirm.”

“You were haughty and extremely selfish. Do you think you deserve Heaven? You even went to the extent of trying to transfer your sin of killing a cockroach to someone else. The fishmonger, on the contrary, was selfless enough to accept your sin. Just to let you get out of your guilt and feel carefree, she assumed the sin you committed. She was such a nice person that she naturally deserves to go to Heaven. Now, hurry up and go to hell with us. Don’t delay anymore!”

This is a great story. It’s so true! I don’t mean to encourage you to go and sell fish or meat. However, if someone can be as good as that woman fishmonger, so completely devoted to God and willing to bear karma for other people, that someone is indeed like a saint. This is a fact. I’ve said many times that everything we do is God’s arrangement. It’s fine enough if we can really understand life to this extent. However, many people don’t understand, and think that they’re the doers. That’s why they screw up and have to bear the karma.

When we regard ourselves as merely a tool arranged by God, then it’s fine. However, very few people can do this. So we’d better not commit any sins. If we do, it’s only right that we be humble and penitent. Very few people can do things in such a selfless way so it’s difficult. Many people feel great when they’ve done a little meritorious act, and boast around using this merit as something to be proud of. Such deeds are performed not out of love, but out of the “ego” to earn praise from others and show people how nice they are. They really aren’t loving at heart so they don’t understand themselves.

If we can do good deeds without thinking that they’re good deeds, and without thinking much about doing them for ourselves, then we’re truly doing justice to ourselves. It’s good if you don’t look down on others for not doing good deeds. Very few people can really do that. So I’ve sometimes said, “Doing charity is not the only good thing; when our spiritual practice is good, everything we do is good.” You do charity without thinking that you’re doing charity. You don’t think that you’re great. You can’t wait to hide yourself, and dread being praised. You don’t think that it’s your merit alone; you don’t think that you have any merit at all! We were born without a single thread on our body so how can we claim any merit? Even the money is merely rotating among us all, as it too belongs to God. Nothing belongs to us! So how can we be proud of anything at all?

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